Friday Funnies

Here are some jokes to get you through your Friday.

Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

A: Because he felt crummy

Q: Why did Johnny throw the clock out of the window?

A: Because he wanted to see time fly!

Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying?

A: Because his mom and dad were in a jam.

Q: What do lawyers wear to court?

A: Lawsuits!

Q: What did one toilet say to the other toilet?

A: You look flushed

Q: Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his treasure?

A: Because he was a little shellfish

Q: What do you call a fake noodle?

A: An impasta

Q: What lights up a soccer stadium?

A: A soccer match

Q: Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?

A: Because it’s pointless.

Q: What do call cheese that isn’t yours?

A: Nacho Cheese

Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A: A nervous wreck

Q: How do you make a tissue dance?

A: Put a little boogey in it!

Q: What do you call a sleeping bull?

A: A bulldozer!

Q: What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A: A waist of time

Q: What is the best day to go to the beach?

A: Sunday, of course!

Q: Why is England the wettest country?

A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!

Q: Why did the computer go to the doctor?

A: Because it had a virus!

Q: What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?

A: It barked with de-light!

Q: What do you get when you cross fish and an elephant?

A: Swimming trunks.

Q: What do you call the security guards who work at the Samsung store?

A: Guardians of the Galaxy.

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

A: Frostbite

Q: Why did the barber win the race?

A: Because he took a short cut.

Q: When does Friday come before Thursday?

A: In the dictionary

Q: Where do boats go when they get sick?

A: The dock

Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award?

A: Because he was out-standing in his field.

Q: Why is Peter Pan always flying?

A: He neverlands!

 

If that didn’t get you laughing, I don’t know what will.

 

Have a great weekend everyone!

– Bethany